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Ever have one of those nights (or full days) where you realize just how far you are from where you should be by now? Ever realize that you still act like an idiot, say things that are completely uncalled for, and show the world just how much of a jerk you can be? Then, when you lay your head down at night and think about the life Jesus led (the life you are called to imitate by the way) you realize that your life looks very little like his life.
That was today for me.
I have a lot of growing up to do. Scratch that – a ton of growing up to do. This growing up should probably be preceded by a lot of apologies to a lot of folks. I want to (as I read earlier today) replicate Calvary to everyone on every day, and that’s just not happening right now.
And, yes, this probably plays a big part in my hesitation about preaching.
I just heard Sean Hannity say on his radio show that America was “the best, greatest, and last hope for the world.”
Really?! Hmm… That’s funny, I think I could come up with one other thing. And the craziest part is that Christian evangelical voters just love this man. Wow.
I get to preach in two weeks for our annual FBC Belton Intern Service. Basically, all fifteen or so interns get together and plan an evening worship service where everything (from greeting to music to offering to message) is done by the college interns. Usually, the job of delivering a message falls to the senior pastor’s intern. That would be me.
Needless to say, I’m just a tad bit anxious. It’s not even the speaking part that worries me. If you know me, you would know that I have absolutely no problem speaking in front of a large group (whether impromptu or pre-written). My fear is a lot different than that.
It’s the idea of speaking to people from Scripture that gets me. I’m reminded of the time that Martin Luther presided over his first mass and was so terrified by the sacredness of it all that he totally botched it and stuttered through the whole thing. Not that I would compare myself to Luther (haha), but it’s sorta like that. And even though I know that the hesitation to preach is a healthy one, that doesn’t make it any less daunting.
The message is titled “The Hard Work of Belief” from John 6:28-29. At least that’s the plan for now. I have a lot of notes, ideas, and rough outlines, but the process of actually putting it together in a logical format starts this week.
Keep your fingers crossed. I’ll let you know how it goes.
